Stay Right
The average sidewalk can be roughly estimated as a column of four by four foot concrete tiles taking you where you’d like to go; yet a person’s shoulder span is roughly two feet (minus the occasional corpulent stroller). So why is it people are clashing into one another muttering ‘excuse me’ to everyone they encounter? Evidently the sidewalk etiquette has been abandoned in our credos.
For starters, always walk along the right side of the sidewalk. Can you locate your right hand? Excellent; dangle it above the curb or grass, whichever may be to the right of the sidewalk, and walk straight. This will avoid any confusion between you and your sidewalk opponent. Yes, this still applies if the dimensions of the sidewalk are different. There’s nothing worse than the individual who has a width of ten feet in their path and the bravado to squeeze you for every inch by brushing against your shoulder as they walk by. Please, sir, are we in elementary school? Cease the histrionics. Better yet, here: take the damn milk money. I won’t put up a fight, honest.
